randomness

just some random thoughts as they’ve been rolling through my head….

• i think i may change the blog site…i forced it to be something it really wasn’t and in an attempt of “creativity” forced it.  i don’t care for that so much anymore- it needs to be constructed in my own skin.
• studying for ARE exams sucks…i HATE it!!! but i’m still doing it.
• for the first time i went to someones house that was absolutely amazing (fellow archie who is renovating this moorish style home) and left, walked into my own home and instead of feeling jealous felt proud and excited of what we have accomplished on our own.
• forgot to record a football game for the hubby even though he reminded me…remembered at the half time and started recording- hope he doesn’t kill me.
• been feeling depressed and not sure why.  trying to be more active and think about all the positive things that i have accomplished- seems to be helping for the most part, but still not quite sure what is “off”.  also as a side note, everyone around me tells me how mellow, relaxed and unstressed i look and talk like these days- weird.
• went to my first concert at redrocks- fucking awesome.  at the end of the night all i could think about was what a privilege my kids were going to have seeing concerts there as they grew up, and then got completely scared at the notion because i was high from all the pot fumes in the crowd- now they aren’t allowed to go to concerts till they don’t live under my roof.

thank you starbucks

thank you thank you thank you starbucks for the slight coffee addiction you have given me.  if it were not for you i would have not had a craving for a grande white chocolate mocha with two pumps of hazelnut.  therefore i would not have chosen a different route to walk to work this morning.  in which i would not have come across a small crowd of people standing at the street corner.  with which i would have not stopped to ask what was going on.  and had i not stopped to ask what was going on, i would have missed my opportunity to wave to barak obama as he left in his motorcade this morning.  and i would not have the smile that is on my face now.

thank you starbucks.

and thank you mr.obama for inspiring me and making me happy.

just stuff

1. i have a job.  i start august 4th.  not sure if i am happy about it or not. the mr. said that he wanted me to be happy, but that i could just quit because i had a bad experience or because i was afraid.  he told me i would regret it.  so i took the job with the understanding that if i’m not happy about it i can leave- on my own terms, not someone elses.  sometimes the mr. is very smart.
2. money sucks.  even though i will be making some again, i am determined that the mr. and i are going to pull the purse strings in, as if i were unemployed.  i think if we can just do this for  a year even, it will make a huge difference in our living arrangement.
3. squash and sweetpea make me laugh.  they are so good together, and do silly things.  they are starting to fight, but even that makes me smile.  when sweetpea starts crying and i haven’t seen what went on and i ask her, she just points and squash and lets out a string of overwhelmed mumbles.  squash always aplogizes and goes on with his business. 
4. yard sales are a bother, but i made over $200 and the rest went right in the truck and off to goodwill.  my porch and basement look empty (yipee).
5. csa’s rock- i’m learning to cook different foods, and the family is eating them too.  i’m soon off to do some canning.

freakin stubborn kid

squash is sitting at the table, partially screaming at me because i’ve left him up there till he eats at least a portion of his dinner.  damn kid has been sitting there for over an hour.  honestly i feel like its about brut control of the situation and damnit i am going to win….

maybe i am crazy but i can clearly remember being taught that if food was put in front of me that i was going to eat at least a portion of it.  i was left at the dinner table, all lights off until i ate what i was supposed to.  at the point where the lights went off, i usually inhaled whatever was on my plate.  i am now inacting the same idea on squash.

 i won!!!!!!!!

two nights in a row, i’ve put up with and ignored the screaming and crying and i’ve won!!!!! he has eaten his dinners- YES.

see me doing the stupid happy parenting dance….uh huh, oh yeah, go reina, its your birthday…

 

my first csa box!!!

came yesterday!  we got:

• an onion
• a stalk of celery
• 5 stems of rhubarb
• 3 heads of lettuce
• 1 bunch of spinach
• 1 bunch of cilantro
• 1 bunch of radishes

now this is a small box i know, but i wonder if i were to purchase all these at the grocery (they are all organic) what the cost would be….i wonder if i would be over or under what the box cost breaks down per week?  hmmmm.

dust dust dust

the mr and i, in our infinite wisdom, decided to get a quote to see how much it would cost us to get someone else to finish the drywall (mud, tape and sanding) in the upstairs renovation project that is now past the 18 month mark.  much to my glee, and the the mr’s shock the quote came in low and we were able to afford it.*

so just as soon as we passed our inspection on the drywall hanging, they started working.  and its all done.  all done execpt for the huge amount of cleaning that is. 

after the workmen left, at around 11am yesterday morning, i promptly went upstairs to do a more thurogh cleaning and much to my unsatisfaction there was no cleaning done by the crew and dust everywhere.  so i set to work till the mr came home at 5:30 in the evening and i still wasn’t done. 

(2) sweepings = 10-15 lbs of drywall dust in a garbage bag; (2) moppings = a ruined mop, and about 12 buckets of water on my front lawn, plus the excitment of 12 trips up and down the stairs; clean windows and their unfinished frames= another bucket of water, a shop vac, a wet rag, a screwdriver, and a husband;  a first pass at the underside of the stairway (open stairs because they arent’ the finished product yet)= an exhausted reina and a loving husband; a clean bedroom for the mr & mrs= (2) moppings of the floor, with one more to come, wiping down every surface i can reach with a wet rag- including every shoe the mr and i own.

i have pulled all the rugs off the porch and the front entry, they are on my lawn recovering from a power wash with the hose.  the porch has been cleaned, swept and powerwashed.  i have mopped the living room and dining room twice and there is still dust.  i haven’t even touched any of the other surfaces in these rooms….

must finish before the little ones come home tonight so they aren’t getting this stuff all over them.

we have an appraiser coming at 2pm….shit. 

thanks

to all of you who are offering kind words and thoughts with me.

they are all very wonderful and helpful to me, and have not nor are not going unnoticed- even though i post gloom and doom.

hallelujah!

thank you dear lord for telling me to keep my mouth shut and for delivering a revelation to the caterpillar last night.  without any provication the mr. told me last night that he can’t live like this any longer and that he has to do something.  when asked what he was talking about he said his weight.  he asked for help.  i hugged him and thanked him.  he even mentioned that he should be trying harder for me- not just the kids, but me.  thank you thank you thank you!

 

wonderland: wonder what happened?

i know that as we all grow older with our partners in life that we are each going to age, grow a little bigger and physically be different than when we first met.  but at what point does it affect the realtionship in the sack?  i pose this question for a few reasons…one because i don’t want to hit the point of not being attracted to my better half; two because i am in pain, and three because it seems like so much work with very little payoff.  to cut to the point, last night was the first night in about 3 weeks that the mr and i had been together- thanks to a drawn out visit of the period fairy.  i have to admit now that on occasion i like feeling the weight of the mr on me at time like these, but it is no longer enjoyable after this fiasco.  the mr has gotten so big that i feel crushed when underneath him, and my hips were in excruciating pain as i attempted to keep my legs- well you know.  all the while this position and extra girth seem to make things much more difficult for the mr so there isn’t a lot of effort in the areas of lovemaking that need the effort.  so what is one to do?  do i say something?  how do you do that without hurting feelings?  how do you deal with the mate that is still your love of your life, but their body is not?

**oh and on a side note, i know my body is not perfect either- but i know and feel that i am a little more self concious about my image to the mr than he is of his image to me.  for example (which the mr and i have both discussed) when in the throws of passion and i see my little belly sticking out- i suck it in.  i suck it in as long as it takes because i care about it- the mr’s stomach can’t be sucked in any longer.

this is not about bragging….help!

alright folks, this has nothing to do with bragging or showing up how great my kid is.  this is truly and deeply about feeling inadequate and needing help.

everyone has always told us what a bright and shinning little star our squash is.  we’ve always thanked them and moved on in life and just took the compliment in stride.  well then someone suggested we get him tested.  we hesitated at first, we aren’t out to make our kid a genius without a childhood by any stretch of the imagination.  but then we realized maybe this had merit.  so we contacted a center and filled out some forms about squash and had a meeting- they didn’t want to test him directly because of his age, but in hind site the caterpillar and i think he could pull it off with flying colors.

there are 25 characteristics that this center has identified in establishing giftedness.  most people hit about 22-23 of them.  our little man, well he hit all 25 dead on.  holy shit. 

we got tips on how to parent him better, since we always seem to struggle with the little things, and ideas on how to give squash more room to grow, more ways to be challenged- nothing over the top i would like to add.  and we talked about schooling.  it is more apparent than ever that we have to find him a new program, and fast because the little guy is bored.  i have a list of schools to contact, but haven’t a clue as to what to ask them.  further more i have no idea how to go about saying, “yes i know you have an enrollment deadline which has come and past, but i am a stupid parent who was somewhat clueless about this whole thing and i don’t want my child to suffer for it.”

can i have my child’s instruction manual now?